Cariad

Myself, paper torn at the edges.
A cave, hollow in the middle.
A forest, silent, despairing.
The clock at half-speed,
Thumping his exercise in rhythmic drum.

Your scent at the precipice of my memory.
Nostalgia buries itself deep and
I’m not sure of the real and imagined.
There is physical pain, of which I have no control and yet
I am master.

I miss you.

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The Light in your Darkness

Have you ever noticed, my love, the gilded path I make for you?
Amid the roaring storm, that fate you are so wedded to is still a distant prediction?
Though pushed and battered, I remain resolute.
Have you noticed?
I do not move.
The harm that preys on you, stalks your waking hours, does not surrender.
But look. Let me show you the way around.
Though sometimes my light does not shine, it always returns. A pulse.
I am here. I stay here. You are safe.
I cannot be moved, embedded as I am in the rock of your existence.
Through the warmth and hail I stand defiant.
Your sanctuary, your lighthouse.

Like You Were Always Meant To Be

You came through the broken black mirror,
Knowing, like the part of me I didn’t realise I’d lost.
You became my testcard boy, my spirit level,
By which I measure all and everything.

No gradient, no growth, but the flick of a switch
And we were on.
Rehearsed uncertainties died on my tongue;
Overshadowed and then forgotten by that first smile.

A dedication I am unfamiliar with,
A kindness I have never known.
The only sadness you bring to me is
The longing for an earlier beginning.

I want to learn you; educate myself in your self.
I want to explore all your corners, and peer into your shadows.
And in return you get all of me, my completeness:
A gift never previously bestowed, resplendent in damaged packaging.

Smoke

I know of no greater pain than unrequited love.
It is the murder of my rationale;
The foreign saliva in my daily bread.
I pass through this city as smoke:
Barely seen,  intangible.
You waft me away with a dismissive hand.
You are not worthy of this: the credit for my anguish. 

Egypt

Spectres of this big river stagger across my torrid mind
In the heat of the night.
Coffee skin and cinnamon flavour.
Tidal warmth and the breeze of Isis wings.
Children’s eyes in adult faces, a constant flow, an eternal cycle.
Music glistening in sweat but not in joy.
The old empire still strong on the foundations of native backs, not built from stone but paper.
An inescapable wielded power, a responsibility inherited.
A vista in extremis, an all too familiar alien world. 

You, in the wind.

Amidst the cries of the minarets,  and the heat in the darkness, 
I think of you.
The sun smears its caramel remains across the horizon,
And the moon casts cataracts on the rabid eyes of barnyard hounds.
Smiles meant with sincerity but laced with desperation.
A water bird calls amongst the reeds in the midnight river,
And I think of you.
A stillness in the constantly moving, a country holding its breath.
An analogue cacophony rolls in from the shore,  and the blue light clicks its fingers with every kill.
And I think of you.
I wish to be your nefetari, as you are the breeze in my hair across deserts and continents. 
There are fires burning in the distant night,  set by dirtied hands unseen. 
There are songs on the water,  laughter in the dark,
And I think of you. 

Call Me

When you’re tired of the empty house,  call me.
When a table for one no longer appeals,  send me a text.
When the other half of the bed is too cold, you know where I am.
When only one side of the sofa is worn, I’m not far away. 
When solo laughing at the same jokes is no longer funny, drop me a line.
When being alone is no longer the logical option,  you know how to find me.

Take the Victoria Line.

A New Frontier

Rivulets of warmth leave my fingers;
My ankles chill with the night air.
All the heat I am surrounds my heart:
A protective womb deep inside.

I am the book without a cover,
The movie without a review.
But I could be anything.
I choose to stay, I choose to change.

Share with me your warmth and
Keep my fires stoked.
I am unexplored,  a new discovery:
Waiting for the right adventurer.